1 00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,397 I'm back at Rutgers today 2 00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:09,878 and not just because I'm dating a student. 3 00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:11,140 Two years ago, 4 00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:13,577 Rutgers Stadium was renamed in honor 5 00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:15,927 of the Scarlet Knights' own Reggie Dinkins, 6 00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:18,887 until his gambling scandal took him from GOAT 7 00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:21,020 to goat, the old version. 8 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,456 That means "bad." 9 00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:24,632 Curtis, no, they'll see! 10 00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,678 But earlier today, 11 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:30,116 the stadium finally got a new name, 12 00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:32,509 honoring another famous Rutgers alum, 13 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:35,425 "Ally McBeal" star Calista Flockhart, 14 00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:38,733 because she was "the opposite" of Reggie Dinkins. 15 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,301 Of all the things I lost... 16 00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:43,390 that one hurt. 17 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:46,828 Alma mater means "nourishing mother" in Latin, 18 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,917 so it's like my own mother replaced me 19 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,571 with Calista Flockhart. 20 00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:53,182 This is good. Reggie, this is the process. 21 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:54,575 Keep going. 22 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,185 When I was eight, a rat crawled 23 00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:57,926 up our toilet bowl and went in my butt! 24 00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,754 All right, let's end there. 25 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,930 Today was a breakthrough. 26 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,193 You see, in the immersive-documentary process, 27 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,934 there is a stage known as embedding-- 28 00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:08,458 months, sometimes longer, spent gaining trust, 29 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:11,940 until, finally, one day, the subject reveals... 30 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:15,987 Which is, of course, dolphin for, 31 00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,554 "I'm horny, and I trust you." 32 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:22,168 Yeah. That's so good. 33 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,822 Hey, you know, I want to hate her for what she did to you, 34 00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:27,303 but she makes Harrison Ford happy, so... 35 00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:31,133 Hey, Reg, you want to shoot some hoops? 36 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:34,136 He's my best friend! 37 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,659 Erase that! 38 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:42,753 ♪ "The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins" ♪ 39 00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,668 I have a new assistant. 40 00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:48,107 Ashley's OnlyFans got picked up to series by Hulu. 41 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,501 So I jumped at the chance to uplift another woman of color 42 00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:54,592 when I got Shaneequinniii's email. 43 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:58,639 I'm Shane E. Quinn III, 44 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:02,121 and this is my first job ever. 45 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,557 Good morning. 46 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:06,081 And I've got some good news. 47 00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:09,389 I got you your first interview in seven years. 48 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,695 See what happens when you put good things out there? 49 00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,480 You know what? 50 00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:16,396 One of you kids gets my watch. 51 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:19,225 You deserve it! 52 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,009 So who wants a piece? "60 Minutes"? 53 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,271 The theme song. 54 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:23,359 Tick, tick, tick, tick. 55 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,100 That's a banger! 56 00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:27,233 Well, it's the "60 Minutes" of Monmouth County-- 57 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,322 the "Monmouth County Register." 58 00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:31,498 Is that, like, a newspaper? 59 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,587 Okay, I know it's small potatoes-- 60 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:35,632 But, Reggie, you like small potatoes. 61 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,113 Remember the fingerling ones at the place with the rosemary? 62 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:39,680 I did like those potatoes. 63 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:42,291 Or here's a real reason to do it. 64 00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,467 It's a chance to capitalize on that momentum. 65 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:45,947 I spoke to the reporter. 66 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:48,384 She doesn't even want to talk about gambling. 67 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,256 Really? That's Smurftastic. 68 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,866 I can say that now that Rihanna is a Smurf. 69 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,694 Good, 'cause I already said yes. 70 00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,478 The reporter and the photographer 71 00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:56,958 will be here at 4:00. 72 00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,178 Finally, I can just talk about the good stuff, 73 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,310 like that time I did the Lambeau Leap, 74 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,225 and I gave one of the guys that caught me 75 00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,096 an alibi in a murder case. 76 00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:07,186 Yeah, that was Smurftastic. 77 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,796 You can't say that! 78 00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:11,407 I think just don't talk about football at all. 79 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,366 We want readers to meet you now-- 80 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,368 the father, the fiancé, 81 00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:17,892 a man who's not defined by his past. 82 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,328 "Readers"? 83 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:21,200 No one reads anymore. 84 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,811 Yeah, they didn't even teach us how to read at Oberlin. 85 00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,900 The news is pictures now, Reggie. 86 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,772 So just do what you're told and take a good picture. 87 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,601 It'll be good practice for the wedding. 88 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:34,474 Brina and Reggie have been engaged for over a year, 89 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,085 and he still hasn't asked me to be his best man? 90 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,043 Why? 91 00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:40,958 You know? 92 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,264 Is it because of my toast 93 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,135 at his and Monica's 10th anniversary party? 94 00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,921 I don't understand how we can all be celebrating 95 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:50,446 when there's 33 Chilean miners under the ground right now. 96 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:55,103 Go away. Go away! 97 00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,887 I'm sorry about that guy. 98 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,063 So what, now that they're, like, friends, 99 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:02,589 I mean, what if-- what if Reggie chooses Tobin? 100 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:05,461 You know, what is that best-man speech gonna be like? 101 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:06,941 Well, you know, um, 102 00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:09,117 when Reggie rather approached one 103 00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,945 about, uh--well, that, um-- 104 00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,425 I, uh--I meant to say-- 105 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,296 God dang it, he's so charming 106 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:18,082 Hmm, I do photograph well. 107 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,910 Rusty! 108 00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:22,173 I have to take an amazing picture. 109 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:24,959 I got a job for you. - You can count on me, Reggie. 110 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,700 Yeah, me. 111 00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:28,920 Not you! 112 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,402 Right there. 113 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,491 What is that outfit? 114 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,972 The power of suggestion, Monica. 115 00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:40,975 This green shirt is actually my old Jets jersey, 116 00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:43,760 to remind people I played for the Jets. 117 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,458 And so what, the yellow jacket 118 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:48,069 is supposed to be like the one that you get from Hall of Fame? 119 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:51,986 And yet I said nothing. 120 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:56,295 Oh, please tell me that's not what I think it is. 121 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,253 It's his Rutgers Stadium bust. 122 00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,863 What the hell is that? 123 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,301 - It's my bust. - Oh, God, no. 124 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,912 And she-- statues are like boats-- 125 00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,696 deserves to be seen. 126 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,177 I mean, come on, which one's the mom, right? 127 00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:10,570 No. 128 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,876 I don't want that jacked-up thing in our house. 129 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,574 Reggie, come on. 130 00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:16,793 This is not what we discussed. - Sure it is. 131 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:21,494 I'll say whatever you want, but this is my visual story. 132 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:24,323 So your story is sad, old jock 133 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,107 literally clings to the past? 134 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:29,545 Right, you want me to focus on my life now. 135 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:32,418 Like my son, Carmelo, who was just named 136 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:35,377 to this weekend's tri-state all-star game, 137 00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:38,032 continuing my football legacy. 138 00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,512 Oh, football? 139 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,296 I broke another Monica rule. 140 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:43,124 I hope I don't go to Monica jail 141 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,518 and get murdered like Monica Jeffrey Epstein. 142 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,607 I forgot about Carmelo. 143 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:51,045 I mean, could Reggie ask him to be his best man? 144 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,873 He's only 17, okay? 145 00:05:52,874 --> 00:05:55,397 So he's not even a man, okay? 146 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,921 And there's no such thing as best boy. 147 00:05:57,922 --> 00:06:00,489 Well, there is on a movie set, but we're not making a movie. 148 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:03,144 Oh, my God, no, we are! 149 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,894 When did it get so spooky up in here? 150 00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,722 When I'm done with that thing, 151 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,637 there won't be anything left of it. 152 00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,428 It's okay. 153 00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:29,475 Who would ever suspect Shane? 154 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,477 What? 155 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:34,088 You're his friend. 156 00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,395 Just be cool. 157 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,267 Be cool, you stupid hog! 158 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,095 Yikes. 159 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:50,234 Siri, music off! 160 00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,672 She's gone. 161 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,631 Who did this? 162 00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,419 My Rutgers bust is missing, 163 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,551 and any one of you could have taken it. 164 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:03,813 I didn't. 165 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,076 But whoever did is a hero. 166 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,557 That thing was jank-key. 167 00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:11,821 Way to remove yourself from the suspect list--not! 168 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,257 "Wayne's World." 169 00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,998 Is that, like, Lil Wayne's podcast? 170 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,609 Don't distract me with your youth. 171 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,741 You're the one that said you didn't want 172 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,090 the statue in the house! 173 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,266 What the hell is that? 174 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,747 Hey, buddy, you know it wasn't me, okay? 175 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,053 I said I liked the statue. 176 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:28,142 I noticed that. 177 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:31,362 I also noticed your pants on fire from lying. 178 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:32,929 You have a tell, Rusty. 179 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,062 When you lie... 180 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:37,325 you lick your lips. 181 00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:40,546 And she-- sculptures are like boats-- 182 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,025 deserves to be seen. 183 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,593 I mean, come on, which one's the mom, right? 184 00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:49,468 No, I don't! 185 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,383 Hey, Shaneequinniii, y'all shady. 186 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,124 Why was you wearing rubber gloves? 187 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,170 Who would ever suspect Shane? 188 00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:59,826 I was burying a bird that hit a window. 189 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,871 White people do do that. 190 00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:03,482 Reggie, look, we all know 191 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,571 how much that statue means to you. 192 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,573 Do you? I kept it because someday 193 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,618 it was going back in the stadium. 194 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,228 That's my stadium. 195 00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:14,014 That's the house that Reggie Dinkins built. 196 00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:15,668 I want that, too, Reggie. 197 00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:18,148 And this interview is the way to get there. 198 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:19,410 So get your head in the game 199 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,804 and stop playing Blackatha Christie. 200 00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,633 First of all, that's a great idea for a movie. 201 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:29,290 Second of all, I haven't even gotten to Arthur Tobin yet. 202 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,161 Yeah, if we're all suspects, 203 00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,989 then that includes him, too, right? 204 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,643 - Wait. Me? - Yes. 205 00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,819 This drama's great for your little movie. 206 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,908 Yeah, you got here, like, two months ago. 207 00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:40,301 You're not one of us. 208 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,998 Reggie, why would I compromise 209 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,260 the trust that we built up? 210 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:45,480 After the breakthrough we had this morning, 211 00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:48,004 taking your prized sculpture is the very last thing I would do. 212 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,658 Really? Last thing? 213 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,921 Ahead of marrying Hitler? 214 00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:54,358 I am purely an observer. 215 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,535 Uh, while filming in Madagascar, 216 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,712 I watched a sloth kill itself rather than intervene. 217 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:01,627 It took four days. 218 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,629 And I don't know where it got that gun. 219 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,544 So I am not going to interfere here. 220 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,720 But I do know who stole the bust. 221 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:10,853 Well, I'm convinced. Arthur did it. 222 00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,115 Case closed. 223 00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:14,161 Now, let's go over your talking points. 224 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,902 An obvious diversion. 225 00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,991 Earlier I overheard you on the phone saying... 226 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,514 When I'm done with that thing, 227 00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,211 there won't be anything left of it. 228 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:25,128 - What exactly is "that thing"? - It's none of your business. 229 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:28,392 But if it makes this go faster, 230 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,394 I connected with a gentleman online 231 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:32,658 and was describing my plan for later. 232 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,181 Oh, dear. 233 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:36,226 Subject change-- what about Brina? 234 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:39,578 So beautiful and thick, but the plot is thicker. 235 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,971 - I didn't do anything. - Yes, you did. 236 00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,930 You walked all sneaky, 237 00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:46,410 creeping like TLC. 238 00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,282 I had just painted my toenails. 239 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,632 Oh, you gonna tell me you do your own nails? 240 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:53,374 Usually I don't, but my girl Rosa's totally booked up 241 00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,681 'cause Cardi B's on trial. 242 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,421 Are you done? 243 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,728 We ain't done until one of you fesses up. 244 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,426 I'm always being lectured about owning my own mistakes. 245 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:05,081 But you people won't do it yourselves. 246 00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,561 What's going on? 247 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:07,867 Oh. 248 00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:09,695 Are--are we doing Uncle Rusty's intervention? 249 00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:10,913 I'll get my letter. 250 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,436 It's not that, son. 251 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,438 Something terrible has happened. 252 00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:17,267 And I'm not addicted to the trampoline park, okay? 253 00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:19,574 I can stop whenever I want. 254 00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:21,445 Just please don't take that away from me. 255 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:22,796 It's the only thing I have. 256 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:28,931 So the bust is just gone? 257 00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,672 One of you's in trouble. 258 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,979 I got my Dr. Watson with me now, 259 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,851 which makes me Dr. Watson's dad. 260 00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,374 Come on. 261 00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:40,290 Do you really have to drag the boy into your nonsense? 262 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,684 Yes, I do, Monica, because he's the only one 263 00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:46,296 in the family that understands where I'm coming from. 264 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,211 Okay, I'm just gonna say it. 265 00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,300 Reggie choosing his son to be his best man 266 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,346 would be nepotism. 267 00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,304 One day you might play for Rutgers. 268 00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,176 And you do not want to rub 269 00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:58,178 Calista Flockhart's bangs for luck. 270 00:10:58,179 --> 00:10:59,614 No. 271 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,834 You want to kiss your daddy's head's mouth. 272 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,313 "Bangs"? 273 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:05,315 Wait, so the bust is season 3 "Ally McBeal"? 274 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:06,666 Wait, hold on. 275 00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,059 Is that a ear? 276 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,713 That's my bust's ear! 277 00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:17,327 We are no longer looking for a thief, Carmelo. 278 00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:19,329 We're looking for a murderer. 279 00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:24,291 How does bronze just break? 280 00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:25,509 Actually, it's not bronze. 281 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,381 When my bust was made, 282 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:30,297 there was a bronze shortage because of the Olympics. 283 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,516 And you would know that if any of you gave 284 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:35,041 a single dang eff about his life! 285 00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:37,434 Lord, today. 286 00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:39,219 The interview is in an hour. 287 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,612 How long are you going to do this? 288 00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,833 It ain't up to me. It's up to y'all. 289 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:47,923 Okay. 290 00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,796 We gonna see how good you can lie to me one-on-one. 291 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,276 Shane, you in the box. 292 00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:55,670 Would you like a soda, Shane? - Yeah. 293 00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:58,195 Carmelo, get him a soda. 294 00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:04,548 Arthur. 295 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,507 I need to talk to you. - To me? 296 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:08,378 You need to go talk some sense into your ex-husband. 297 00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:09,815 You've seen me try! 298 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,642 But when he thinks he's been wronged, 299 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,209 he's like a dog with a bone. 300 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,603 Or me with a key lime pie Yoplait. 301 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,344 Sorry, what are we talking about? 302 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,215 Look, today is actually a big deal, 303 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,869 but this bust situation-- - Yeah. 304 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:22,784 Is threatening to blow it all up--believe me, I get it. 305 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,568 Reggie was finally starting to open up to me. 306 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,266 Well, you're the one to fix it. 307 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,268 Just go look at the footage. 308 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,836 And if you can end this, please, just do it. 309 00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,794 Monica, no. Ethically, I-- 310 00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,796 I know an interview with the "Monmouth County Register" 311 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:36,885 isn't a big win, but it is a win. 312 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:40,193 We're just starting to finally make some progress here. 313 00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:43,762 But Reggie's in no place to talk to anyone right now. 314 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,242 They gonna love you in prison. 315 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:49,290 Arthur, please, help me out here. 316 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,988 When I became a documentarian, 317 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,382 I made a vow to remain forever curious, 318 00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,340 steadfastly objective, 319 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,429 and insufferable at dinner parties. 320 00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:01,780 Today I break 321 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:05,044 the middle part of that vow. 322 00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:07,917 No, I don't want that jacked-up thing in our house. 323 00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:30,939 For posterity, 324 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:35,815 I do want to explain why I had to frame Brina. 325 00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,210 Why wouldn't you say something, baby? 326 00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:42,690 You know I'd forgive you. 327 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,735 You see, of all the available scapegoats, 328 00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:47,129 Brina was by far the most readily forgiven. 329 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,131 And if it came out that I broke the bust, 330 00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:51,046 imagine the damage to the embedding process, 331 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,221 you know, and the film. 332 00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,267 If Shakespeare were alive today, 333 00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,269 he would say, the film's the thing. 334 00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,271 Right? 335 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,187 Obviously, I did it. 336 00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:05,191 I just don't remember doing it. 337 00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,106 Bri, what are you saying? 338 00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:11,153 Reggie, you never met my aunts, 339 00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:13,460 my dad's sisters, 340 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:16,115 because they live in a insane asylum. 341 00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:18,639 They went crazy right around my age. 342 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,816 They'd black out, and things would happen. 343 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,296 Furniture'd go missing, 344 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,211 the fireplace would fill with dolls, 345 00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,039 and whenever there was a storm, 346 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,215 Aunt Wendy would disappear for a few days 347 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:32,566 and say she'd been to see the Wizard of Oz-- 348 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:33,959 not even the Wiz. 349 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,438 So the white one? 350 00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,136 That's nuts. 351 00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,747 This is what I've been afraid of since I was a little girl. 352 00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,836 I have it. 353 00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:44,143 I have the sickness. Oh! 354 00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,666 I would not have singled out Brina 355 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,363 if I had known about the Wiz thing. 356 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,235 I just thought that Brina would say she didn't do it. 357 00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,367 Reggie wouldn't believe her. Brina would get furious. 358 00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:53,500 Reggie would get turned on. Problem solved. 359 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,589 I certainly did not think that Brina would blame 360 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:58,070 the black mark that God put on Grandmama Evans's name. 361 00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:01,508 It's the black mark that God put on Grandmama Evans' name. 362 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,379 - No, baby, don't say that. - No! 363 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,077 I don't even remember 364 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,644 destroying something that you love. 365 00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:12,519 How could I trust myself to be a good wife or mother? 366 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,521 Oh, I have to call off this wedding. 367 00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,392 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Please, please, stop. 368 00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,699 Dear God, it was me. I did it. I broke the bust. 369 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,006 I'm so sorry. 370 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,796 Oh, no! 371 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,018 But I don't like the bust. 372 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,367 No, that part was real. 373 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,195 Yes, earlier you said it looked like 374 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,892 a rotted jack-o-lantern of Shrek. 375 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,154 Damn, girl, you cold. 376 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,243 But the rest was all just editing trickery. 377 00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:43,071 The shot of you sneaking into the living room 378 00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,333 was from last month. 379 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,031 You were tiptoeing to avoid Rusty. 380 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:49,208 I was sick of answering his questions about "Severance." 381 00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,036 I've just got one question. 382 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,472 We're two seasons in, 383 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,865 and no one's trying to have sex with Mr. Milchick? 384 00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:59,566 But wait, we all just saw her throw the bust into the trash. 385 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,524 Yeah, so, Monica, you remember earlier 386 00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:03,222 when you caught me coming out of the bathroom? 387 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,267 You couldn't have used the bathroom, 388 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,574 because I destroyed the toilet hours ago. 389 00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,402 I had Chilean oysters for breakfast. 390 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,056 That's why I was wearing those gloves, 391 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,318 was to try to fix it. 392 00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:13,623 Mystery solved. 393 00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:16,365 That was not the mystery, Shane. 394 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,367 And I-I didn't go in there to use the facilities. 395 00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:20,369 I just went in so I could go out the window, 396 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,980 sneak back inside, 397 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,765 and run upstairs to borrow... 398 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,289 a couple of things. 399 00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:31,902 And then I popped back in through the loo window and... 400 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,122 Yeah. 401 00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:37,125 You touched my wig? 402 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:38,474 Jail! 403 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,041 My Irish friends were right about you people. 404 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,391 You played me--this is supposed to be a documentary 405 00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:43,871 about the Hall of Fame. 406 00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,003 What are we doing? 407 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,961 You almost got the wedding canceled. 408 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:48,658 I should kick you in half! 409 00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,791 You had me thinking I was crazy! 410 00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,794 This is really gonna hurt the embedding process. 411 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:57,972 We loved you! 412 00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:00,105 Stop! 413 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,846 Everybody just stop. 414 00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:06,502 Dad, Mr. Tobin didn't break your statue. 415 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:09,810 When he knocked it over, it was already busted. 416 00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:10,899 By me. 417 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:16,121 I just couldn't bring myself to tell you how it happened. 418 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:18,515 You son of a bitch. 419 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:22,736 You broke it? But you weren't even here. 420 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,216 Actually, I got out of school early 421 00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:26,087 because it's Straight White Pride Day. 422 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,133 Did they always have that? That feels new. 423 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:32,790 And after I accidentally messed up your statue... 424 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,010 Oh, no, no, no. 425 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,577 I ran and hid at Todd's house. 426 00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:39,057 I don't know about that Todd. 427 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,059 Calling me Monica like he grown. 428 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,799 You gave quite the performance. 429 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,627 I mean, I really believed you were surprised 430 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,238 when you got home. - No, I was. 431 00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:49,806 Dad, when I left, the statue wasn't missing. 432 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:51,721 I thought somebody was messing with me. 433 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,332 Hang on. 434 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,898 I love that bust. 435 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:57,423 But, C, you're my guy. 436 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,904 What made you think you had to hide this from me? 437 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:02,906 That's the thing. 438 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:05,344 ♪ Dooby, dooby 439 00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:08,173 I was practicing our routine for the prep league 440 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,175 a cappella showdown this Saturday. 441 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,351 I have the tenor "doobys" in Mr. Fiske's arrangement 442 00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,569 of "Radioactive." 443 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,963 You got the "doobys"? That's amazing! 444 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,878 Huh. 445 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,271 No. 446 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,447 Saturday's your all-star game. 447 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:23,362 You're the starting running back. 448 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,626 And that's why I was afraid to tell you. 449 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:29,890 I want to go to the concert instead of the game. 450 00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:33,111 That's why I couldn't stand you staring at me while I practice. 451 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,462 ♪ Dooby, Daddy 452 00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:38,813 ♪ I mean dooby 453 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,212 So you don't want to play football? 454 00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:49,649 You didn't need to lie, Melo. 455 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,042 We support you no matter what. 456 00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:53,914 Right, Reggie? 457 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,394 I'm sorry, Dad. 458 00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:58,310 I know football is your whole life. 459 00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:00,747 But maybe it's not mine. 460 00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:02,444 The reporter. 461 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:05,230 Oh, good Lord. 462 00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:08,320 Oh, I can't even pull off a Reggie Dinkins interview 463 00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:10,713 in a paper they give away at the drugstore. 464 00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:14,195 Okay, I'm going to cancel. Um, I'll say it's Kwanzadan. 465 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,806 She's white. She won't know it's not a thing. 466 00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,331 No. I'll do the interview. 467 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:22,291 I got some stuff to get off my chest. 468 00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:28,296 So it was all Carmelo's fault. 469 00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,994 Wow, right? 470 00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:36,086 For decades, football was my life. 471 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:39,307 But it isn't life, 'cause football is over. 472 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,353 The stuff that really counts, 473 00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:44,051 luckily, that's not going anywhere. 474 00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:47,620 I've got a fiancée who is kind and beautiful. 475 00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,230 And when we get married, 476 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:52,233 my best friend is gonna be my best man. 477 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:55,497 So it turns out he asked me a while ago. 478 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:58,370 I make too much earwax, okay? 479 00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:00,285 I thought Reggie and I were having 480 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:03,026 an emotional conversation about what's the best ham. 481 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,640 It's Kirkland Signature. 482 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,207 I've got a Monica. 483 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:13,907 Without her, I wouldn't have a career or a child--a son. 484 00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:17,606 He's gonna be so much more than I ever was... 485 00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,956 'cause he already knows 486 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:22,307 that football is not his life. 487 00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:26,049 Okay. Cool. 488 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:29,792 Um, just to go back to my question... 489 00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:32,926 what's your favorite sub shop here in Monmouth County? 490 00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,885 Salami Joe's. 491 00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:38,193 Lord have mercy. 492 00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:51,597 all: ♪ Yeah 493 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:54,034 How you boys enjoying your new rehearsal space? 494 00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:56,515 Oh, the acoustics are great. 495 00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:59,169 I think it's from Mr. Tobin's skull absorbing the sound. 496 00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:00,780 Reggie, I know I deserve to be punished, 497 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:03,130 but, please, this is worse than when I directed 498 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:04,523 the "Imagine" video during COVID. 499 00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:07,090 Why'd you boys stop singing? 500 00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:08,657 You sound so nice. 501 00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:11,791 Let's get weird. 502 00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:26,546 - Good night, everybody. - Good night.